the perfect response to "because that's just the way it's done!"

“Those who matter don’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter.”

- Bernard Baruch, in response to disputed seating arrangements. 

I saw this quote the other day and it really made me happy. This has been my philosophy the entire time in planning this wedding. And it's fitting that it should've been a response to "seating arrangements" since that's already been the subject of a "because that's just the way it's done" argument. :)

Spotlight on the MOB: A First Class Lady

My mom RULES. The woman has been helping me plan this whole crazy wedding even though it breaks almost EVERY SINGLE rule in her wedding etiquette book. She's gotten mad at me, I've gotten mad at her. She's written checks left and right, she's even relinquished her credit card for strange and last minute Polaroid film purchases (will explain that one later). She's flown me to Maui, sacrificing being away from her family on Mother's Day (though we had a pretty great day anyway). And she's hardly ever complained. And when she did complain she had every right to. 

She's done all of this while starting her first job in 26 years (since she became a mom), moving her other daughter cross-country from Delaware to LA and setting her up in another apartment, decorating it from head to toe, and being a loving wife to my father, and that whole wife-thing, as I'm quickly learning, seems enough to be a full time job!

And then two days ago she went and purchased our tickets to Maui. Even though she didn't have to, even though she's already paid for everything else, even though it was a total pain in the ass, she did it anyway. Aaaaaaand she hooked us up with 1st class on the way there. She even paid a little extra for us to fly in a day early because that was the only day that 1st class was still available. And when she couldn't work her magic to get us 1st class on the way back she some how got us the only two seats in a row with extra leg room. Yeah, she rules. We love her. And she loves us. As is evident in these photos:

     

She's a kick-ass lady who will do anything for her family, even if certain members of her family happen to be two off-beat hippy misfits like Aaron and me. And that's all it takes to be the best Mother Of The Bride ever!!!!!

Mom & Me, on the top of Haleakala volcano- Mother's Day '08

The Brave Little Toaster

We got our first wedding gift today!!!

This is our new married persons Cuisinart toaster- the 4 banger. Double the people, double the toast!

I kinda didn't want to use it until we got married. I kept it in the box for, oh, 20 minutes and then I couldn't resist. I thought, 'oh I'll just look at it.' Which lead to 'I wonder what it looks like on the counter.' Which lead to 'I'll just plug it in and see how it works.' Which lead to instant love.

Thanks Dion and Holly for our brave little toaster!

Going to the dogs...

It's official. We have wedding fever. It's uncontrollable and can not be stopped. And it is, as it seems, quite contagious.

I asked Aaron to stop by Petco to pick up some cat food and he came home with these dog toys...

Total wedding fever. Am I right?

misadventures in registering

Aaron and I spent all day yesterday registering. We went to Macy's Department Store in the Beverly Center. I was super excited- I had been waiting for this day for a long time.  I remember when I was little and I would accompany my mom while she shopped for housewares at departments stores and I'd wander around the china section and pick out which pattern I'd register for if I were getting married.  Aaron, having no idea what registering was all, about was a little wary about the whole process.  But once we got there and the lady put that scanning machine in my hand Aaron said seeing how happy I was made it "worth the price of admission."  And we ended up having a lot of fun.  A little too much fun I'd say. Our rowdy behavior and outbursts of laughter got mixed reactions.  Some customers smiled at us with that "aw, aren't they cute" kind of way, while many employees and older customers gave us looks like "you can't be that loud around the crystal!"  And I think we just pissed-off the entire bedding department.

  

Aaron's attempt at a picture of us.

I had a bit of an "ah ha!" moment when Aaron and I began shopping for silverware. I approached it from a purely visual standpoint where-as Aaron would grab the knifes and hold them checking how they were balanced and how they felt in your hands. I didn't even think about that! And it made me smile to see how much we balance each other when it comes to decision making.  The first silverware set I chose was balanced all weird, the knife wasn't counterbalanced and the fork felt heavy.  Aaron said that you shouldn't be thinking about the silverware when you hold it. That made sense to me. So utilizing my desire for aesthetics and his desire for comfort we picked out these:

Gorham "Studio" flatware

I love these! I'm totally excited to have my own flatware and not use the stuff that my mom and dad got from their wedding over 30 years ago!

Oh yeah, and we also stumbled upon these:

Yamazaki "Gone Fishin'" Flatware

We had to register for a couple sets. How AMAZING are these? The lady who helped us with the registry thought we were nuts for asking for these first of all, and second of all only registering for two sets!

The next thing was plates! Aaron didn't think we need these, but I know one day we might be a normal couple who may have the chance to entertain and we'll then wish we had an entire set of plates and platters and stuff. I mean, the dishware we have now we LOVE. It's from Cost Plus World Market...

"Cherry Blossom" Dinnerware

...but we don't have enough of these plates! And if Cost Plus World Market had a wedding registry we'd be registered there. It's our favorite store. So I thought we should register for a full set of plates that can match these if we need them to. And that's when I fell in love with these:

Villeroy & Boch "Dune Lines" Dinnerware

Love these! And they'll match everything throughout the years as we change styles, decor, everyday plates, etc. they even look great with the pattern we chose for our serving dishes and platters. Check out the awesomeness that is:

the Villeroy & Boch "New Wave Acapulco" Collection

I'm totally in love with this pattern! When I first saw it I thought Aaron would hate it. We had already been in Macy's for about 3 hours when I stumbled upon these and what I call "Registry Fever" had started to set in. We started scanning things we didn't need or didn't even like just for fun. And I thought Aaron was joking when he said "scan those" about this collection. And I said "really?" And he said, "No seriously, you really like those and I think they're very you, you should scan those." :)

The entire time we were consulting a "Registry Essentials" guide from, I think, Martha Stewart Weddings- my favorite magazine of all time. I had put Aaron in charge of the holding the list and I had the scanner. But then I made the mistake of trading with Aaron so that I could read over the list. That's when all hell broke loose. I was checking out the list when Aaron walked away from me. At that same time I was distracted by a sales lady who asked me if I needed any help. That's when I heard that loud and familiar beeeep coming from somewhere behind me. I whirled around to see what Aaron had scanned and I caught him holding a  gigantic rooster in his hands. No! I yelled as if I were scolding a bad dog. "But both of our mom's have one! Don't you have to get one when you get married?" "No it's not a requirement." But Aaron would not be swayed. A few moments later after I had dragged him away from his beloved rooster he said, "You know, I saw a really cool pitcher over there." 

"Is it shaped like a rooster?" 

"As a matter of fact it is," he said smiling devilishly. "And the spout is the roosters beak!" 

"Ah, so it's like a rooster is barfing into your cup every time you pour?" 

"Exactly." 

"No."

Megan, Aaron and our buddy the rooster.

The next thing on the all-mighty Registry Guide was bedding. This was the main reason I wanted Aaron with me at Macy's. He's very picky about bedding. And I found a collection that I fell in love with online. So we wandered around the bedding section forever trying to find it. I couldn't ask for help because I couldn't remember what it was called! So we wandered, we scanned towels, we scanned bathroom accessories, we picked out pillows until I remembered what the bedding was called. When I asked the guy he told me they didn't carry it in that store... yet. So Aaron was really sweet and said that if I liked the bedding, he was fine with it. So here it is:

Natori "Tree of Life" Bedding Collection

I registered for everything you see here except for the $300 accent pillow because I would NEVER pay $300 freaking dollars for a tiny useless pillow no matter how pretty it is!!! And it is VERY pretty. And I didn't register for the $500 coverlet. Let's be real here folks. We registered for a comforter instead and we're going to use a $30 duvet cover from Target instead. 

After hours and hours of registering we were finally finished! The Registry Guide came in really handy for us because we had NO IDEA what to register for, it was overwhelming to say the least but Aaron was a great List-Master.

before Aaron 

After Aaron

If you look at the "after" picture of the list, everything with a "T" next to it are the things we need to find at Target. So that's what we're off to do today... if Aaron ever wakes up. ;)

We're invited!

We got our invitation to the couple's wedding shower that Meg and Amy are throwing for us.

How cool is that invitation!? I love the colors and the orange bow makes me quite happy. Plus I love the way that Meg writes. :)

This particular shower is going to be different than normal wedding showers.

As I said before, I don't have a lot of friends that are girls, except for the ones in my family and my mom is already planning on throwing a shower for the family. So this one is going to be for all of Aaron and my buddies! The only family member who's invited is my cousin Nathan because he's always been one of my closest friends and he won't be able to make it to Maui so I wanted to include him some way.

Also, what Meg didn't mention on the invitation is that it's going to be a birthday celebration as well, at least I'm looking at it that way, because it's the day before my 27th birthday and all our closest friends will be there (hopefully). 

Another way that it's going to be different than a typical wedding shower is that Amy (my bridesmaid and hostess) told it's going to be more like a bbq than a wedding shower. She told me that there will be NO GAMES. And I said THANK YOU!!! I'm happy to just have all of our close friends together in their fantastic backyard with food, drinks and presents! I couldn't think of a better way to spend my birthday weekend.

No backing out now...

I mailed the invitations today!

I walked with a large box full of invitations to a nearby mail box a few blocks away. Once there I put the box on the ground and started dropping hand-fulls of invites over and over into the box. 

A sweet gay couple walked by me and I smiled at them as they passed. One of them stopped and said, "getting married?" I answered back, "I sure am!" And they both got all excited and said "congratulations!" And a bunch of other well wishes. As they walked away I heard his partner say "Good call!"

That made me feel really awesome. Getting married is pretty neat. :)

this is where a wedding planner would come in handy...

So I'm running severely behind schedule! My invitations should have gone out like yesterday.

My sister and I assembled all the invitations over the weekend, but of course I ran out of postcard stamps for the rsvp cards and I completely forgot to order stamps for the actual invitations! Plus I have been having the hardest time trying to find real wax seals. I finally found the perfect seals on ebay and then at the last minute got out bid and lost them! I was so bummed.

So late last night after hours of internet shopping I ordered everything I need to finally get this invites done, had to pay a fortune in express shipping costs but... I can't wait any longer.

So here's what I got...

rsvp card stamps

 envelope stamps

Ivory Pearl glue gun sealing wax

and 2 wax seals:

shark

turtle

the wax and seals are from Seasons Creations

Now here's the question:

Which seal should we use? 

-They are both of our aumakua's- mine is the turtle and Aaron's is the shark. 

-The turtle is more Hawaii wedding-y and represents longevity.

-The shark would be funny though and it definitely has meaning in that it took a shark attack to get this wedding to happen!

What's your vote?

Spotlight on: The Invitations

They have arrived!!! 

I came home this afternoon and my lovely bridesmaid Amy had brought the box inside for me and put it on my desk! 

I dropped everything I was holding and made a beeline for this baby!

Just like her invitations Karah's boxing style is so unique and cute, check out this adorable green tissue paper!

I was totally shaking by this point and I tore off the green paper and I saw that the cuteness didn't stop there- she had individually wrapped the invitations and things in beautiful blue tissue paper! Karah rocks.

And what is that wrapped in an adorable pink bow?...

Well that is a special little surprise that Karah threw in the box for me. How awesome is that!?

This is also the first time I've seen Mrs. Finley written in out in reference to ME!!! It totally made me tear up. I was really touched.

This is why I adore Karah and Bella By Karah designs. 

She really did an amazing job and I feel so lucky to have gotten the most perfect invitations that were exactly how I imagined them at a price that I could actually feel comfortable letting my mom pay for invitations!

So now, without further ado I give you my wedding invitations...

Karah took the above picture for me. Instead of the brown envelopment I will use a burnt orange one, they're just not at my place right now. 

I am so beyond thrilled right now with these guys. So thanks once again to Bella By Karah who made my wedding invitation dreams come true! :)

What if my head explodes?

So I did it. The invites are being printed by my girl Karah as we speak. I'm so nervous and if it weren't for the time crunch I'd probably still be editing and changing and "perfecting" them, but I ran out of time! 

I mean, I'm totally happy with them- heck, I'm in LOVE with them. Karah (www.bellabykarah.com) did a rocking job. But there's just that little bit of doubt in the back of my mind haunting me with thoughts like- What if I made the rsvp date is too soon?... or not soon enough? What if there's a misspelling- you know you're a terrible speller! What if the times change? What if anything changes? What if EVERYTHING changes?

And what if my head explodes from all these useless, nervous thoughts expanding and multiplying? I needed to stop.

So I said "Karah, get thee to a studio!" And she did, and they'll be done and at my doorstep before I know it. 

I'm excited and terrified at the same time.

Has anyone else felt this nervous about finishing their invites?

The F Word

It's been long enough now and I still can't take it. This is the official statement from Camp Finley-Tharpe on the "F word."

I hate the word "fiance." I hate it hate it HATE IT. I've been engaged now for almost 8 months and still haven't "gotten used to it" and I know now that I never will. I cringe every time someone uses it to describe me. And it's gotten to the point now that I dread the moment when I have to introduce Aaron to someone new because there's a moment where I think I'll be okay saying "my fiance" and then when it comes to that moment I just freeze up. 

Take, for example, this conversation that I had recently...

John: Hey Megan, have you met Wendy?
Me: No I haven't. Hi Wendy, it's nice to meet you.
Wendy: Hi Megan, nice to meet you too.
Me: Wendy, this is my............ (pause for inner conflict)................... boyfriend, Aaron.
John: Wow, you're still fighting it, aren't you.

I know, it's terrible, I'll probably be ostracized from the bridal community for saying something so blasphemous, but I just can't bring myself to use that word. There's something so pretentious about it I can't stand it. It just that it doesn't feel like a word I'd use to describe either of us! 

And I don't want to insult anyone who is freely and happily using the terms. Good on ya mate for that! I think people should be happy to be and have a fiance. For the longest time I couldn't wait to by someone's fiance. But now that I am, I just can't bring myself to ACTUALLY use the word. Sometimes I hate myself.

But Aaron's the same way! From the moment we were engaged we talked about not wanting to use the word "fiance," but what are we to do!? There's no other word for it. He's more than a "boyfriend" but he's not a "husband" yet. It's just that "fiance" just sounds so obnoxious to us.

We've been using the term "marrying girlfriend" or "marrying boyfriend" but people haven't been that receptive to it. Well, it's more like, they look at us like we're loony-toons, which just ends up giving me the same feeling as if I've said "fiance."

So this 4th of July I'm celebrating my independence from the term "fiance." Yay for freedom! :)

Does anyone else felt the same way about the "F word"?

Co-ed Showers (wedding showers, that is)

I got an email from my "second mom" Meg (my bridesmaid Amy's mom who I've known since i was two) saying that she wants to throw me a bridal shower!! I'm so excited, I can't even wait!!!!!

In the email she asked me two questions, when should she throw it and who should she invite.

The first one was easy to answer- whenever she wants! 

The second question is where it gets tricky. See, if one were to throw me a typical "girls only" shower there would be hardly anyone in attendance because I don't have many girl friends. In fact, hold on... let me do a quick count right now... not counting family members, I have five girl friends, yup 5.

I guess it could be just a small shower, but that means that most of my closest friends wouldn't even be invited if it's "girls only."

Meg suggested that she could throw me a "couples shower." I had never heard of a couples shower before but when I searching for an interesting picture to use for this blog I stumbled upon an article that gave tips on how to throw a couples shower. It wasn't all that informative though, pretty much stating the obvious- turns out throwing a couples shower is just like throwing a couples party. Who knew.  And their picture sucked too...

The girl in the middle is saying 

"why would anyone use this picture for anything?"

BUT, I did like their suggestion on shower gift ideas that the bride and groom can both enjoy. For example a "Handyman and Handywoman" theme with gifts such as tools and other convenient household items. My favorite was the "Stock the Bar" theme, with gifts such as bar glasses, bar tools and liquor! :)  Or gifts centered around the bride and grooms shared interests or hobbies. For us it would be music or dog themed gifts I guess. That would be fun! 

Has anyone ever been to a couple's or a co-ed wedding shower before? What was it like? Did you enjoy it more or less than an all girls shower? And any tips or suggestions you could give us would be much appreciated!

A "hole" different surprise

There's a reason why this blog has the word "misadventures" in the title, it's because things like this happen to me all the time...

Yesterday at work I got bored and starting playing with my ring (which I do constantly, it's really a bad habit I think, but I still can't get over the novelty of having an actual engagement ring), and I noticed that I had lost a diamond! It must have happened some time during my sister's graduation party. Loose a diamond and gain a honeymoon? I guess I can live with that.

Luckily it was one of the small ones on the inside of the ring, but still, that little hole really bums me out. 

I'm sure no one will even notice, but of course it's all I see now, probably because I keep taking the ring off to look at it. I should really stop doing that!

Anyway, my question is this... it's so tiny should I bother having it replaced? If I should replace it should I even use a real diamond, I mean it's so tiny I'm thinking of going with a CZ. Is that lame? It's probably not as lame as having a hole in engagement ring though! 

And for you brides out there- have you ever lost, damaged or suffered some sort of tragedy with your engagement ring before you were even married!?